Stop Counting

We all have our own timelines when it comes to important things in our lives. I remember as a child counting how many more years til I go to middle school. It felt like a big jump leaving elementary behind. Then I was counting how many years til I go to college. The counting went on and on through out the years. Even the imaginary numbers of we will date this many years before marriage. We will be married this many years before having kids. It's great to have goals and to also have things to look forward to. However, now in my life I am realizing the numbers weren't as significant as I thought and it didn't mean that it would actually go that way. Four years in college took eight since I changed degrees from nursing to education. I didn't have kids at the age I thought I would. Instead I had three kids in five years. As of now I'm not counting til I reach my 25 year marriage anniversary since I'm currently divorced and unmarried. My whole life I have had an ideal timeline of how my life would go. Some things hit my timeline spot on and others well it took much longer or hasn't happened. This is the year I stop counting. I stop putting pressure on the years ahead. I finally realized that I wasn't the one planning my life all along. That God has a plan for me. In many situations I didn't see his plan or understand it. For example, becoming a single mom and being divorced. Never did I see that coming, but now looking back I do understand. God knew I needed those three children that would come out of that marriage and he wanted me to be their mom. God knew the purpose and also that it needed to come to an end to get me on the path I need to be on. I'm sure to God I looked silly with all my counting in my life. It wasn't until I came across this verse did I start to see things different. Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." How true and relatable this verse is. It really changed my view on things after reading that. I am a planner and from what you know now a counter. I have thrown my timeline out the window. I am relinquishing control of the path my life is going. I'm trusting in God and praying for him to guide every footstep. I'm only seeking to be on a path that is pleasing to God. One that will bring me closer to him. That is my main focus. So I will read God's word and apply it in my life. I will pray for God to help me see my purpose and let that be the focus of my life. I want to be the woman God wants me to be. So I will stop counting and make everyday count.