Our Love For Our Children

If I don’t do anything in my life right I pray that I get this right. My children are and will always be my biggest blessings. Our days are busy and fly by to fast. I try to catch precious moments and put them in my pocket. When they aren’t with me and my heart aches for them I pull out these moments and remember.

As a parent we are hard on ourselves. Did I say I love you enough today? Was I to hard on him about his grades? Every night these thoughts hit me. Did I do enough? Do they feel loved enough? These thoughts come because we appreciate the blessing of having them. We are in awe that they are ours to love and cherish. Sometimes I think about waking them up and bringing them in my room and cuddling them. Just to have a little more time before another day is gone. But I don’t tonight it’s a school night. They have to get up early and need their rest. So I stay in my room alone and love them from here. On the weekends however, I have woken them up and put on a movie or done a late night dance party to have some more time with them. I’m going on three years as a single parent. My love for them has grown stronger doing it alone and co-parenting. Because I don’t get everyday with them the days I do get are so precious. I want to be the role model they need and the place of comfort. My children amaze me with the kind words they tell me. Every night we say prayers for each other and when it comes to theirs for me it melts me with the things they pray for. The other night my middle daughter prayed, “God I hope my mom knows she is beautiful, she is kind, and she is loved.” I couldn’t help but cry hearing her sweet little voice pray this. My goal is to please God in all I do and to be the mother God wants me to be. Sometimes it is hard because I didn’t expect to do this alone, but that doesn’t change the kind of mother they will get. I will be the mother who has their back no matter what, I will make sure their life is easier than mine was, and I will do anything I can to support them. I remember this summer going to the ocean with them. The waves were strong and they didn’t care. They want to swim and play. My immediate reaction was to stand between the waves and them. I wanted them to still enjoy all the things they wanted to, but at the same time I wanted to protect them from anything that could harm them. I stood their getting hit by the waves thinking, how I could stop the waves from coming their way. If I could with my love I would hold back the whole ocean, so it would never harm them. As strong as a parents love is we can’t stop the waves or protect them from everything, but we can try. We can stand their in between any struggle and our children. And though it will still come and reach them we can make it come a little less hard. We won’t let it knock them down. Keep loving your children like this. With all your heart, fearlessly, and full of support. It might never feel like enough, but that’s because we love them so much. Like in my favorite Randy Travis song, "I'm gonna love you forever and ever Forever and ever, forever and ever Forever and ever, amen.” Unconditional and never ending love.